


Hold My Hand

by kishidanchougoroshi



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: High School, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kishidanchougoroshi/pseuds/kishidanchougoroshi
Summary: They were naive high school students back then, they didn't know what they really wanted. But now, Jun knew, and he won't let go again...





	Hold My Hand

Sho might never hold Jun’s hand in front their friends, but he would do it when they’re alone, even when Jun didn’t ask him to. To be precise, they were a secret lover.

They’re at the second grade of high school, in the same class, Sho was a prefect and a captain of the soccer club, and Jun was only a member of the choir which never performed, almost forgotten in the first place. The reason why they kept their relationship a secret was because Jun didn’t want to stand out in school. Sho told him that it was okay for him, but Jun never got any attention before and he couldn’t imagine what their classmates would say if they knew that they’re dating.

“J, can I borrow your notebook? I dozed off just now,” Nino grinned innocently as he sat down in front of Jun.

“Sure,” he slid out the notebook from his rucksack and gave it to him. “How can you answer all of those tests without studying properly?”

Nino’s grin grew wider as he answered, “I have an extra hardware to save all the data.”

Jun watched him copying his notes with horrible handwriting. Nino was a smart kid; he could memorize the lesson without much effort; which was why Jun envied him so much. He was handsome and good-looking, with short black hair which was always in good shape, his skin was flawless and a little bit pale, and he loved when Nino told a joke. He could make everyone laugh with his naughty expression.

Nino probably the only kid that Jun could talk to, the other classmates were divided into groups and each of them had something particular in common, only that none of them suited him. Sho was the leader of the first-rank group, but he wasn’t a bully. Unlike the other popular kids, he was calm enough and knew how to behave. When he asked Jun for a date, he was shaking hard, not knowing what to say. Jun thought that he only made a fool of him. He came to Jun’s house, waited in front of the gate and praised his appearance as the first welcoming sentence.

Jun was still shaking, every time they were too close. They had shared their first kiss last week and Jun still touched his lips every now and then, just to make sure that it was real.

“J, what do you think about Sho kun?” Nino asked him out of the blue.

Jun was still thinking about his first kiss with Sho that he didn’t hear what Nino said.

“Eh?”

“Sho kun,” Nino repeated, “isn’t he hot?”

“Er-, yes, he is,” he tried hard not to blush.

“I think I’m in love with him,” Nino murmured to him with a tiny voice.

Jun looked at Nino, surprised. He never thought of any possibilities that other people might put a liking to Sho and it simply because the Sho they knew was dating with nobody. Jun gulped, hiding his feeling. Nino was the only friend that he got and it would be rude if he told him the truth now. What kind of reaction that he would show him if Jun told him that he and Sho were dating.

“I’ll confess to him,” Nino said, drawing heart pattern on his notebook, “I’ll confess in front of everyone at soccer match next week, what do you think?”

Jun needed a few seconds to nod. There was something stuck inside his throat that prevent him from speaking.

He went home with the thoughts of Nino and Sho, picturing them together. Nino loved to be the center of attention and he wasn’t a nerd like Jun. He was smart and he could enter the first-rank group every time he wanted to. He could befriend anyone and all everybody in the class liked him. He had everything that Jun didn’t.

And the day that he was afraid the most finally came.

***

“Sakurai Sho!! I love you, let’s date!”

Everyone buzzed as Nino’s voice heard through the speaker of the soccer field, some people laughed amusedly, some of them whispered to their friends and some others booed loudly to show their support to Nino.

Jun was the only one who kept silent at the corner.

He tried to see Sho’s expression, but he was too far to be seen clearly. He should stay calm, knowing that Sho was his and he would definitely say no to Nino because he was dating Jun now. However, they were just naïve high school students where the most important thing was protecting their reputation and Jun didn’t know what Nino had planned after all.

He knew a little about Nino, the kid had his own group; they could do something to Sho just to make him accept his confession.

And probably, that was what happened…

Because Jun never wanted to find out….

He barricaded himself more than before; he stopped talking to Nino; he quitted from the choir and pulled himself away from the school activity. He went home immediately as the lesson ended. He began to volunteer to teach children on weekends with his sister and with that, he tried to forget what happened. Maybe Sho never loved him since the beginning, maybe he only considered Jun as one of his toys, once he got bored, he would throw him away.

What an ironic high school era. He should have been happy back then.

***

It had been seven years since he graduated high school. Jun never heard from any of his classmates, or from Sho or Nino. They separated like it supposed to be, he barely remembered that time, not because he wanted to, but the memories just faded away as the time went by. The memories peacefully were taken away from him and he never complained about it; let it be.

Seven years was enough to change Jun, both mentally and physically. He wasn’t a shy kid anymore. Oppositely, he had changed into the most confident person. He began to wear fashionable clothes, he changed his hairstyle every six months, he learnt how to match clothes he was wearing with the shoes or the bags; to be precise – he was no difference with the models that appeared in magazines.

He worked as a concert planner for a famous singer – Ohno Satoshi. It was his third year to work at this field and he began to love it. The producer trusted him for the upcoming tour concept; it was the first time for Jun to responsible for the main part and he had to make it perfect. He had met the artist a few times; he was a good guy and often talked about his hobby in painting.

“Jun kun, please take care of my tour. I trust that it would be fantastic in your hand,” Ohno patted his shoulder as he left the meeting venue.

“He rarely praises somebody,” one of his staffs whispered at him. “You must be very good.”

Jun smiled weakly as he heard it. The compliment meant he had to do it properly without fail.

The summer heat blinded him as he readjusted his sunglasses; sweat wetted his T-shirt and he had to take it off in order to gain some fresh air.

“Over there, he’s busy checking something,” Jun heard somebody spoke. Footsteps approached him, but he kept on writing something on his memo, afraid that he would miss some details at the main stage. The footsteps stopped right behind him.

“Good afternoon,” the man’s voice greeted him.

Jun wrote the last memo before turning around. “Good aftern….” he couldn’t continue his sentence when he saw the figure before him. “Sho?”

“You look so busy,” Sho gestured at the stage in front of them.

“What are you doing here?” Jun asked.

He had no time to put on his T-shirt; it made him ten times more awkward than he already was. He wished that Sho was only a mirage, but he wasn’t. Here he was, as solid as he could be and his eyes were right on Jun’s.

It had been seven years without any news and now Sho reappeared in front of him; so casually as if they met every day.

“I’m your new personal assistant,” Sho answered.

Jun waited for ‘I’m just kidding’ part, but Sho looked serious. He turned around and wore his T-shirt again before facing Sho again.

“I never asked for any personal assistant. It must be a mistake,” Jun shook his head. He grabbed his bag to take his phone and called the producer. The man didn’t pick the phone immediately, so it gave Jun time to steal a glance at Sho.

Sho had changed, not extremely; the adult appearance suited him better. His face was more rounded than Jun remembered, his hair was dyed brown and the muscles on his upper arms could be seen through his white shirt. Jun hated his own memories; he had pushed Sho away, but now he could recall every detail about this man.

“Aiba san,” he spoke to the man who finally answered the call. “Have I mentioned that I need an assistant?”

“Hi, Jun kun,” Aiba’s cheerful voice was heard from the other line, “It’s Ohno san’s order, he thinks that it would be more efficient if you have a personal assistance.”

“But…”

“Talk to him, but I think it’s for your own good. Your work will be busier from now on,” Aiba said. “I don’t think you can handle it all by yourself.”

Jun glanced again at Sho and shook his head in agony. Why Sho of all people? He could have anybody as his assistant, but above them all, it was Sho. The one who broke his heart into pieces, the one who made Jun never wanted to fall in love again. The one who could make Jun choked, even after all these years.

“Are you good?” Aiba asked.

“I’m all good,” Jun thanked the man and ended the call.

Jun didn’t know what he should do first. He already got used to working alone; he didn’t even know what did the personal assistant do, he resumed his work, pretending that Sho wasn’t there.

“Should I get you some food? Coffee?” Sho asked as a few hours passed in odd silence.

Jun was busily typing something on his laptop, he nodded without thinking further. He would think about Sho later, once he finished his work. He would talk to Ohno and asked him to withdraw Sho; he didn’t hate the man, only that he didn’t want to see him again – it was two different things.

Sho came back a few minutes later with two cups of coffee and some biscuits; he smiled at Jun as he approached closer.

“Thanks,” Jun took the plastic cup from him and set it on the table.

“You’ve changed,” Sho said.

Jun lifted his brows as heard it, but he didn’t give any comment.

“The other staffs said that you’re brilliant, arranging concert and so,” Sho complimented him, it heard so sincere, but Jun wasn’t in the mood to talk about it right now.

“I’m done for today,” Jun clicked save on his laptop screen, folded it, took the coffee cup and rose off the chair.

“See you tomorrow,” Sho said.

Jun ignored him.

***

Jun called Ohno’s manager and requested a meeting with the singer to discuss the concert plan, but Ohno was out of the town for recording, he would be back in three days. Jun had already talked with the management; their answer was the same with Aiba’s that Sho was here upon Ohno’s request.

Two days passed in silence and ignorance, Jun didn’t want to talk with Sho when they were alone and he only spoke if it’s about work. Sho seemed to understand that the talking about past wasn’t accepted; the man followed his pace and assisted him in silence.

“I’ll be late for today, you can go home,” Jun told Sho awkwardly. He still had meeting with the other staffs and it was already passed midnight. Sho looked at him with some hesitant, before answering.

“I’ll be waiting, I haven’t finished the project you gave me,” Sho formed a weak smile on his lips.

“You don’t have to finish it now,” Jun said, ignoring the fact that his voice was shaking.

“It’s okay, I’ll be waiting.”

Jun didn’t say anything more; he left the man for the meeting room. It would take a few hours to finish anyway and he hoped that Sho was on his right mind that he would leave earlier, so he didn’t need to feel guilty for making him wait. Why did he care? Sho was nobody to him, they were colleagues, professional, and he was not a high school boy anymore.

Sho was still there when Jun finished. Their eyes met, but Jun diverted his gaze almost immediately. He was tired and sleepy; maybe that was why he saw Sho differently.

Sho was charming; he must admit it, regardless how reluctant Jun was. Two days was enough to steal glances every now and then at the man and Jun hated that his heart still beat unpleasantly every time their eyes met.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Jun murmured. He couldn’t believe that he said those words to the man before him.

“I’m your assistant, it’s a part of my job,” Sho answered casually.

The concert was approaching and the work was getting busier. Ohno was happy with the progress; the artist told Jun that he did a great job. When Jun asked him about Sho, Ohno only said that he would be of help and he didn’t want to withdraw Sho from the team. Jun intended to ask further, but Ohno seemed to not want to continue the conversation.

Sho always made sure that Jun had breakfast, always made him a cup of coffee when he saw Jun unfocused his work. It had been continuing for two weeks already; Jun was still cold-shouldered the other, but he knew that he would stop it sooner or later. Maybe it was time to forgive the man or forgive himself – whichever it was would be fine.

“Are you still together with Nino?” he asked Sho.

All of the team was having dinner at yakiniku restaurant near the concert venue. The atmosphere was loose and none of them talked about work.

Sho was taken aback that Jun finally touch the private topic or maybe he was surprised that Jun actually still remember their high school era.

“We broke up two months after graduation,” Sho said. “Do you hate me for that?”

Jun knew that Sho referred the time when he abandoned him for Nino – on purpose or not – it still remained bitter memories for him.

“We were young and stupid,” Jun said, not actually answering the question. “I just wonder where you have been for those years.”

“I went for college,” Sho said as he drank his beer, “work part time and travel sometimes. You?”

Jun recalled what he had been doing for these seven years; the first four years were unclear, he couldn’t remember them all. Those years were when he still couldn’t get over Sho.

“Almost the same as you,” Jun finally answered.

***

The concert went fluently. Ohno took them all to have barbecue party on the last day and told them to eat as much as they could.

Jun didn’t eat that much; he was satisfied with the result and he needed some time for himself now. He left the party earlier, longing for sleep and holiday.

“Should I drive you home?” Sho said.

Jun turned around and saw the man; he had followed from behind without him noticing it.

“I can drive,” Jun answered briefly.

“You’re exhausted,” Sho chased him until they were at the same pace.

“So do you.”

“I sleep longer than you these past two weeks.”

“I’m fine.”

“Let me drive,” Sho insisted.

Jun heaved a deep sigh, “Okay,” he said with some reluctant. Sho’s smile grew wider as he agreed; they walked towards the parking lot with a quick pace.

“I always wonder where you got those brilliant ideas,” Sho opened the conversation. Jun wasn’t in the mood to talk; he just wanted to sleep and sleep.

“It just came to my head,” Jun dropped his head to the seat, leaning cozily and started to close his eyes. He mentioned the address to Sho with sleepy voice and dozed off in no time.

He dreamt about Sho, or perhaps it wasn’t a dream. They went to bed, undressed, Sho’s muscles stiffened, he breathed hard and Jun felt the urge to touch him. He caressed the naked chest; learning its pattern, he leaned closer and let Sho kiss him. Sho’s lips were soft and it tasted somehow sweet. The time had stopped as their lips met; Sho’s eyes looked at him as they broke the kiss, Jun could see those eyes sparkling beautifully, he lowered his head again and this time, Jun was ready.

***

Jun woke up under the thick blanket; he didn’t know what time was it. He tried to find his phone, but it was nowhere. He was on his bed, wearing pajamas. Sho drove him home last night, he dozed off immediately and it meant Sho was the one who helped him changing his clothes. He blushed, remembering his dream; or whatever it was.

He slowly rose off of the bed and walked out; the clock’s hand pointed to 11 am. He wondered whether Sho was still here; half of his heart wanted Sho to be here, it would be nicer than alone. Sho’s company for the past weeks had made him depend on the man.

Jun headed the bathroom and found the man there, brushing his teeth. He unconsciously took a relieved breath.

“You slept here?” Jun asked.

Sho cleared his mouth and set the toothbrush on its place before answering.

“Yes, sorry,” he said.

“It isn’t ‘sorry’,” Jun snapped. “Did you change my clothes?”

“Sorry for that too, but you can’t sleep with those jeans, it was dirty.”

Jun lost his words, he looked at Sho and wanted to ask whether they did something other than sleeping last night, but he gulped his words back.

“I toasted some bread for you,” Sho said.

“Thanks,” Jun left the man, “I don’t remember telling you that you may stay here,” he slumped at the chair and reached the bread.

“It’s the opposite with what you said in your sleep,” Sho joined him at the dining table, “you kept on telling me to stay.”

“That was…” Jun blushed. “I didn’t mean it.”

“People are innocent when they sleep,” Sho said with a wide grin. It brought an unpleasant sensation to Jun’s stomach. Sho’s plump lips invited him to lean closer, to kiss him like what they did last night (regardless it was a dream or not).

“It burnt,” Jun commented on the toast.

“You can have mine,” Sho pushed his plate to Jun.

Jun caught Sho’s hand instead of the plate, it gained an unreadable expression from the man, but he didn’t care. He had given up Sho for someone else once, but not now; he leaned closer and saw Sho did the same. The toast and coffee on the table were forgotten as they shared the passionate kiss; he knew perhaps it was what Sho wanted by becoming his personal assistant, but it didn’t really matter now. This was what Jun had been longing for; even though he lied to himself that he didn’t need Sho anymore, but he was glad that they could meet again.

***

“Are you sure it’s okay to let Sho kun meet Jun again? From what you told me, Jun seems to hate him,” Ohno said as he focused on the arrangement of his new song.

“They deserve to meet again,” Nino said. “I was the one to be blamed for their broken hearts. I didn’t know that Jun and Sho were dating back then,” he continued.

“I’ll tell Aiba,” Ohno said, smiling at Nino. “Are you sure it’s okay with you?”

“Sure, I have you now, and I’m happy,” Nino put aside his guitar, approached him and sat down on his lap, “I want my old friends to be happy too.”

“As you wish, we’ll help them,” Ohno said, kissing Nino’s neck. He knew Sho would be more than glad to be Jun’s personal assistant. He dialed a number and called Aiba to arrange everything.

end


End file.
